Parameters

Alright, now that the pesky introduction is out of the way - let's get down to brass tacks. As of right now, I have not made contact with a recruiter or selection officer with any branch; my journey has thus far been limited to physical preparations and research. Lots and lots of research. That does not mean, however, that I'm starting this journey with every branch on equal footing. For instance, I know myself well enough to know that I realistically have no business joining the Coast Guard. I'm not particularly a huge fan of the water and let's be honest: the Coast Guard loves them some water. 

Ehh, no thanks

So at this point in the process we've already eliminated one of the five branches. Not too shabby. The USAF is probably the weakest of the remaining, but I'll let them hang around for a little longer for consideration's sake. The frontrunner right now would have to be the USMC. For starters, I have a family history in the Corps. My father was an E-5 (Sergeant) in the late 1950's/early 1960's and my half-brother is currently an E-7 (Gunnery Sergeant) serving in Afghanistan. 

Yes, the Gunny is terrifying

Suffice to say, I grew up with the idea of Marine Corps superiority drilled deeply into my head. Although I'm starting my military search with an open mind, I'm completely willing to admit that I identify most closely with the Marines. There's much to be said for a group of warriors that takes pride in being the absolute best and I really like the standards that Marines set for themselves. The Navy isn't too far behind. I do like similar opportunities that the Navy offers in some fields (aviation) and it's certainly appealing to not necessarily have to spend most of your time in the mud. Sorry, Marines: Any Clime, Any Place does have its setbacks. 

North Korea: lovely during the winter

The third of the major contenders is the US Army. It may be puzzling to have the Marine and the Army (two seemingly-similar branches) on opposite ends of the spectrum, but I have my reasons. The first and most obvious is the aforementioned Marine Corps bias. Marines do everything better at the expense of the slacker branch that just fucks everything up. While that's not always a fair criticism, the Army hasn't helped itself in my eyes by lowering their standards to keep people from washing out of Basic Training. The military is tough for a reason, and I'd hopefully not have to worry about having to command sub-standard soldiers because the Army needs to hit a recruiting quota. Marines thrive on the idea of being able to trust the rifleman on either side of them in a firefight. I like that confidence in being the best trained and at times the Army has given me doubts with some of the people they're accepting now. 

Above: Army Strong

The Army does have its merits though. Some of the best advice I've gotten in terms of selecting a branch for the military is to treat each branch like a potential employer and go with the people that will give you the best deal. And because of their recruiting woes, the Army does offer the best enlistment incentives (dollar, dollar billz) of the five branches. While it wouldn't be wise to select the Army based purely on the enlistment bonus, a sizable one certainly doesn't hurt. For all my criticisms of the Army, they also have plenty of top-notch warriors in their ranks. Army Rangers, the US Airborne, and Special Forces are the best of the best in the US Military and easily comparable to the Recon Marines (sorry fellas). So there are plenty of opportunities to be with elite warriors in the Army, I'm just personally a little disturbed by the discrepancy between the Army's regular and elite. 

Actual Army Strong

For the three branches that are most closely in the mix (Army, Navy, USMC), I'll begin talking to recruiting officers within the next couple of weeks. I didn't mention it earlier, but it's important to note that I'm only considering a career as an officer. This isn't a slight against enlisted soldiers, sailors, or Marines - this is just part of knowing who I am and my capabilities. I'm college educated, I want to lead, and quite frankly - the pay is substantially better. 

So, to summarize: The Coast Guard wasn't ever a real possibility and the USAF is hanging on by a thread, which leaves the Army, Navy, and Marine Corps as the primary branches of consideration to start out. I'm pumped - let's do this thing!